How would you explain the fact that wives usually end up doing most?
Here are a few reasons: Differing standards. The person who is cleaner ends up doing more cleaning, because the other person doesnt care. As in many things, men are more extreme (either obsessive neat freaks, or irredeemable slobs) so statistically you will see more couples where the woman is cleaner. Early training. In my generation (GenX) there were surprising numbers of guys who didnt know that a bathroom actually HAD to be cleaned. A male roommate once said to me, very confused, but all that waters flowing around all the time, it just keeps it clean, right? Maternity leave. Not only is the woman home and notwithstanding a nursing schedule equal to a fulltime job, is doing nothing so is available to do housework. Also, sitting in one spot at all hours and in all lighting situations, shows dust and dirt that you dont see when youre only home in the evenings. Late stage pregnancy triggers nesting instincts which lead to doing more housework, and new moms are more worried about germs, so get in the habit of cleaning more than they would have before. Inertia. Once (3) happens, it becomes difficult to change, because you are already doing the work, and its easier to just do it than explain it and watch someone else learn it. Especially if they dont particularly want to learn! Stockholm syndrome. Lack of sleep causes change in new moms brains, causing them to put the childs needs before all else including their own sanity. Hence they are more likely to respond quicker to a childs cry. Who does the buck stop with. In many parenting situations, if the baby is fussy, sick, etc., mom gets the baby. If the baby is happy or sleeping, other people take the baby. So, only the mom learns how to soothe the baby, feed it, etc. So other people get the happy baby and mom gets the work. While someone else holds the happy baby, mom is scrubbing spit up out of the rug, planning the shopping, changing the laundry load, putting the toys away, and maybe, MAYBE taking a shower. Then the baby cries; Ive literally had a baby handed to me in the bath. So, when the mom goes back to work, its viewed as her having a privilege, to talk to adults and wear clothes that are not damp from someone elses bodily fluids, for which she must pay by preventing any spillover work onto the other parent. Inertia takes it from there. In younger generations, I think there is a more equitable view about childcare, but on the other hand, it seems no one born since 1995 knows how to sweep, mop, do laundry, sew a split seam, make a shopping list, etc. So, the new family will be happily cocooned in filth, eating takeout, until in-laws show up.